3.28.2009

The Wrong End of the Stick

I Googled "bang head here" and found this image. It was an "a-ha" moment for me. Yep, that explains it.

It was a beautiful day, and a lot of the people in the office were out taking a smoke break at the same time that I couldn't resist the urge any longer. Sitting on a concrete wall, we all lined up like prisoners on a firing line. That fit, since most of them were in uniform, stationed on base for their current tour of duty. Reservists all, and I was damned glad they were pulling duty here instead of in Iraq.

I was sitting amongst them, in no particular order we sat, and wouldn't you know it, a bird landed in the branches of the tree we were all sitting under and let loose. The bird's contribution to the conversation landed right on my left shoulder, all white and creamy. I didn't even raise my eyebrows in surprise.

"Well now, ain't that just peachy," thought I as I reached up to wipe the contribution off with a finger, then bent down to wipe said finger off on the grass. I continued on with my cigarette and the conversation that didn't miss a beat. It doesn't matter that I got shit on, no one else let on that they noticed. Wanna know why? They were all secretly glad that the bird didn't shit on them. In other words, not all the shit that hits the fan is shared by all. Besides, what could you say, what could you do in a situation like that?

In the literal sense, it was nothing. A bird had to go, a natural thing, and that's all it was. That the bird just happened to be on a branch right above me was about as random as you can get, outdone only by the odds of winning a lottery. It wiped off clean and didn't leave a wet spot or stain (though I scrubbed the crap out of my shirt where it landed, no pun intended, in the bathroom when I went back inside). C'est la vie.

But maybe, just maybe, those birds get together and share their wisdom with each other and the one that hits the prize mark wins the fat worm. They have a purpose. They have a book they read to prepare, a how-to, and though they aim for the top of the head, a shoulder ain't half bad. Kudos to you, bird.

At least one of us had a good day.

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