Odin on the Move, and I'm Awestruck

When I go outside, my two yuppies, the two small dogs I have (with big cajones, they think) run to the end of the pasture barking away, trying to incite a riot with the neighbors' dogs. Today, all their bravado worked, and both neighbors' dogs came a-running. Brown, black, yellow and white big dogs came into Odin's pasture to meet the challenge of my mouthy, little dogs. But the one who made it an awesome thing to see was Odin who ran through those dogs and scattered them everywhichway.

It was one of those moments that unfolded very, very quickly. I had my camera bag in hand and rushed to whip it out. I managed to get three photos - far apart in terms of how the action unfolded. I'll be damned if I could remember how to set the camera to take a series of photos, so I had to wait each time for it to save and reset itself. While waiting, I'd watch Odin in all his glory and I caught myself, once, forgetting the camera!

Oh, the sight was breathtaking, heart stopping and exhilarating! That gigantic horse is raw power in the flesh! You feel the ground rumble with his pounding hooves!

Whistling for the dogs to come back, Odin came with them, and the above photo is his return to me. He was still head high and snorting and panting, and the dogs weren't too keen on settling down yet either. But one hand on Odin's shoulder and all four of his feet planted into the ground. His head was way up, he was blowing hard through his nose, but his feet never moved again until I took my hand off of him.

It was an extremely joyous moment for me, filled with wonder that one touch of my hand can control this 1,400 pound horse! I had to hold my hand on his shoulder, his head four feet above mine, for a lot longer than the situation required, just to triple-check that his feet were, in fact, in my control. Those feet never moved!

When I took my hand off his shoulder, Odin circled one more time, at a much slower trot, and came back to me. His own biggest defense of his feet and his ability to outrun most things serve him well, but mom here can control the dogs that drive him nuts! Soothed and calmed just as quickly as he was hot and bothered, Odin's head goes down and he's back to grazing.

The moment was over. But, my heart is still racing!

I put the series of photos on Out in the Back Yard, if you'd like to see them.

A Few of My Favorite Thoughts

For the most part, I live in the moment. I suppose some would say that I am a few fries short of a Happy Meal, but with three moments in every second, I do a lot of living!

I've been thinking of making a list of my favorite things, but with living in the moment like I do, it would be an endless list filled with the coolness of each and every rush of whatever-it-is-I-feel-at-the-moment. I know you're secretly thankful that I can't type that fast!

So, to put a different spin on the list a bit, I'll try to list only the thoughts that capture me for more than a few moments at a time. These are in no particular order, and they are all far from separate from each other.

Being

I spent a good portion of my life fighting the fact that I was born with an overactive neural system. My mind is overactive, my physical senses are overactive, and so are my emotions. Whatever it is that I feel, physically or emotionally, I feel intensely, deeply and to the core. At first, I figured out it was a lot less complicated to feel what I feel and stay true to those feelings, inside and out. For me to do anything against what I feel throws me into an incomprehensible state of chaos filled with anger and depression. To maintain any kind of internal balance, I finally figured out that thinking and feeling are separate, yet two inseparable aspects of the same thing: me. So now I give both equal air-time and all's well in paradise.

Being in the Moment

Grabbing hold of that sense of being meant that I no longer had to be a slave to it. Taming my brain allows me to experience everything, every little thing, that floats in and out of my awareness. Carl Jung would call this tapping into higher levels of consciousness, which equates to the Ancient Wisdom's tenet of mastering the physical to attain the spiritual. It is an incredibly peaceful and joyous way of being!

Being a Part of Everything

This is perhaps one of the most astounding aspects of life that there is. Acknowledging everything makes me a part of everything! Everything is one! There is no need to suffer loneliness or fear! It is all one!

Acceptance

You've heard it said that an alcoholic or drug addict or overweight person can't "get well" until they accept the fact that they have a problem. That is just the tip of a magnificent iceberg! As you can tell since it's blatantly obvious, I am an introvert, another one of Carl Jung's concepts. I look inside, identify what I feel and navigate through life true to what I feel. Sometimes, I am extremely introverted and it takes more than a crowbar to pry me out of my little world. Since I am a part of everything, it hardly crosses my mind to spend more of my time out in the big world. I accept me for who I am.

The opposite, an extrovert, navigating through life in the big world, will instead seek approval and acceptance from that big world with little to no internal influence or acknowledgment of his own feelings and thoughts. Very social and outgoing, an extrovert's being is symbiotic with others. Being is belonging. When the sense of belonging is present, so is acceptance of self.

Pretty cool, huh? The trick is to be both introverted and extroverted!

Joy

I used to have an incredibly hard time with the concept of "happy." For the most part, I never felt "happy." I still don't! I have surpassed it, threw it out the window, tossed it in the circular file as inconsequential. There is something much more, completely tremendous and worth far more. That is joy. Joy is feelingthingkingbeing all at once and it is infinite!

Joy is the feeling of complete comprehension and understanding.

Joy is how a good book speaks to your heart.

Joy is the music that sends you flying with it.

Joy is the art that speaks of wonders.

Joy is being with another person, an animal, or with yourself so totally that there are no boundaries.

Joy is being in it, but not of it. One foot is on the ground while the rest soars!

Joy is beyond faith and into knowing.

Joy is being.

Joy is being in the moment with everything.

I am amazed by the bond that has developed between my animals and I. I have become "quiet" enough to "hear" Odin, my horse. He communicates so many things to me. His eyes will change ever so subtly to reflect comfort, irritation, wariness, contentment and playfulness. He will nuzzle my nose or cheek (talk about razor burn!) or put his eye right close to mine as his way of saying he is enjoying my company. My dogs stay within feet of me, sometimes making it a bit difficult to leave the center of their circle. Like a litter of pups, they lay with me all night, snuggle up to the crook of my knees or up against my back. Odin and the dogs become pissy every morning as I leave for work, and all come running when I come home.

Out in the big world, whether at work or covering a story, I enjoy every moment, even if it does take a bit of prying to get me out and about. I interact with everyone, from a met eye and smile to an intense conversation. I don't think in terms of liking or disliking anybody, and accept all as they present themselves to me.

There is even a sense of joy in missing my son. He feels confident and capable to build his life. I miss him terribly, but accept my diminished role in his life.

There is a great joy in writing, whether it be to communicate news or share my thoughts and photos with you on my blogs. My hope is to be able to capture or speak of something that gives you a moment of peace.

Be Careful What You Wish For

Around here, there are all sorts of messages on display in front of every church you pass. On my drive home from work tonight, I saw one that said:

"AMERICA NEEDS THE LIVE SAVIOR"

Lets take a good look at this one:

"America...." is the only country on the planet with a dire need right now? How humiliatingly selfish and narcissistic that sounds! Is it any wonder the rest of the world doesn't think as highly of us as we do?

"...needs..." is a loaded word. It implies total helplessness and dependence on ...whatever... might be pushed down everyone's throats as a necessity. It speaks volumes about a people so wanton and spoiled as to call their desires needs instead of the wants that they are. Most of all, it is a gigantic insult to every single one of us because it loudly screams that not a single one of us is capable of anything but selfishness.

"...the live..." can only be a desperate hope that whatever can "save" us may not be. Ya think? Here's a newsflash for you: If you're reading this, you are alive and well and fully capable of taking responsibility for yourself! There is nothing outside of "us" - you, I, or anyone else - that can, could or should take on your responsibility. Sorry Charlie, it's up to you to quit the passive-aggressive attitude toward your own life.

"...savior." Isn't it most likely that whatever anyone or anything does for you, it wouldn't be good enough anyway? The world still naively thinks that our current president is a messiah and savior! If that isn't proof enough that faith can't hold a candle to knowing, nothing is. That man is about as much of a messiah and savior as Charles Manson!

Your answers, your truths, your well-being and your strength is within you. Don't go looking outside yourself for something that cannot be. All you need is within you. Take the leap and look within.

Otherwise, heed the warning: Be careful what you wish for or you just might get it.

Humble Pie, Etc.

Like I said in my last post, you have to keep your camera with you! You just never know what beautiful and magnificent things you'll see. "No sense cryin' over spilt milk," as the saying goes.

I keep my camera with me at all times. It's always sitting right next to my "NEWS" notepad with a pen stuck through the wire spiral along the top. The one time I didn't take my camera and notepad with me to work, which I leave in the truck all day, I was asked to cover a story and had to rip pages out of a notepad at work so I'd have something to write on. To be honest, I don't remember if I missed a photo op, but there's no sense in having the pad without the camera!

I had my camera with me today, as always, and spotted this gorgeous, bright red, bright yellow beaked bird. I assume it was a cardinal. It had landed on a wooden fence not far from the trunk of a sappy pine tree with a perfectly neutral background. I sat there in my truck just admiring that picture-perfect moment and kept thinking to myself, "if I turn my head around to look for and grab my camera, the bird will fly off and I'll lose track of him."

That bird sat there for a long time, long enough for me to have grabbed that camera, gotten it out of its bag, set it up and take probably 10 shots before he took off to land in the tree branches above me. He stayed there awhile too.

No way was I going to continue to let the chance to grab a shot slip by again! But, before I could get the camera out of the bag and set up, the wind kicked up. I aimed and clicked the shutter about the time all the leaves and branches hid the bird. The result is above. Sob.

Before the camera could save the photo to the memory card and return the control back to me, the bird flew off to who knows where.

So, my second piece of advice, right after "keep your camera with you at all times," is "take the danged thing out of its case already!"

Excuse me while I go choke down some humble pie... and mop up the spilt milk!

Proof that Life is Amazing

Karen, a good friend of mine, bought herself a new camera. It's a good camera with all the bells and whistles and it takes good photos. On a trip down to Little Rock, she traveled her usual route that takes her through a mountainous area and a lake. Sitting on this tree is this huge, bald eagle. She didn't have her camera with her.

Subsequent trips down the same road past the same spot and she saw the eagle again. She didn't have her camera with her.

"You need to take your camera with you everywhere," said I, "I do, it's with me 24/7. You just never know what you'll see."

Taking my advice, she took her camera with her for, oh, about a week and a half, and didn't see the eagle again. Not wanting to carry it around or leave it in the truck, she stopped taking her camera with her. Of course, she saw the eagle again. She didn't have her camera with her.

Karen calls me and says, "I am so pissed! You told me to keep my camera with me and I saw that eagle again!" She was furious.

Now, Karen had been hauling around this tiny purse stuffed to the gills and overflowing. It was a sorry little thing with all its stretched stitching. So I suggested she buy herself a bigger bag that can hold her camera and all the stuff she had stuffed into her little purse.

That did the trick. Several trips past that same place and no eagle, but Karen had her camera with her. She sent me this photo late last night. The photo is proof that life is amazing - and worth keeping your camera with you always.

Do You Hear Ringing? I Don't!

It's been many years since I've been so revved up to go to work in the mornings. I love this job! It's non-stop and no two things are ever the same. I get so involved in it all that I have to be yelled at to take lunch, and yelled at to leave at the end of the day. Ask my boss; she'll tell you!

Mondays are the busiest days of the week. There's a ton of the back work to do on top of an endless line of people to see. What doesn't get done on Mondays has no choice but to wait until the next day - except for the stuff that absolutely has to be finished on Mondays.

On top of all the stuff needing to be done, the phone rings off the hook. I can't justify answering the phone when I have someone at my desk that has been waiting for a long time just for me to run through their stuff with them that takes all of three minutes to do before I send them on their merry way. When the phone rings, I let it go to voicemail, so I end up with an overloaded inbox a few times a day and no time to return any of the calls.

Today, I scooted out the door on time. I had to get away from that danged phone! And, I had to reserve some of my sanity for the rest of the very busy week ahead. Some new initiative, something to do with a stimulus this or that, is hitting us on Thursday and all next week too. It's so big that my boss changed my working hours for the last half of this week and all of next week. All I can think is, "uh oh!"

I wasn't in my truck long enough to even turn the key in the ignition when my cell phone rings. OK, short and quick call. I had to answer a quick question, then goodbye. I made it home in silence - whew - and sat down at my desk when the phone rings again. This time, it was a long and enjoyable conversation with a long lost friend. Before I could wrap things up, the call waiting dings in my ear with another call. This one is an angry friend who needed to vent. Before I could hang up with her, another call waiting beep and another call.

All at once! Back to back! Oh...My...Word! I haven't had so many phone calls in one day in years! Wanna bet it rings at least one more time tonight?

On one hand, I love it. I love that I've been able to talk with just about everyone I know today. On the other hand, I wish I wasn't so ready to toss my iPhone out the freaking window!