Politicians Run With Selective Vision

I can't help but wonder about … well, things. At my age, it's a wonder I wonder at all. Yet, I do. A lot. The older I get, the less clear things become, and that doesn't help the wonder much.

Like, this presidential campaign. What is it that these turkeys do? I mean, really; can you tell me exactly what it is that a politician does? Besides the tall tale telling and spin-doctoring and wheeling and dealing, that is. I've always wondered about that. How can someone who just shoots the shit for a living make so much money?

Oh, and the breezes just get stronger and stronger as they flap those loose lips and with all the foresight of the ass end of a horse (pictured). In the process of all this flapping, politicians always, always seem to piss someone off, and it's usually the leader of another powerful industrialized nation that could blow us to hell and back again if they get enough flack.

I suppose we taxpayers pay them for their brains. None of us really know what is going on, right? We don't have the perspective or the background to know the difference between right and wrong in the political arena. Well, we pay them for their brains in an area we know nothing about because 1.) we're not told a damned bit of truth via the media, and 2.) a politician's version of right and wrong is entirely different than all of ours. When was the last time you could say for certain that a president had brains? Or, a conscience?

Ethical considerations aside, how can any of those yahoo politicians even think they have the perspective or the background or the experience to speak for me, to represent my interests and make sure those bad-ass commies don't come and get me? It's not the commies I'm worried about, it's the capitalists. Same thing, right? As far as I'm concerned it is. As long as a big business has more rights than I do, you bet that's what I worry about.

From what I can see, all politicians do is tour their constituencies at the expense of taxpayers and capitalist donators, and spout crap out of both sides of their mouths from a gigantic stage somewhere, stay in luxury suites in the best hotels and fly around in private 747s. They have people gathering information, handling the booking of all these posh gigs. These people handle all the money, call people all day and night, write their speeches, give them manicures and massages and tease their hair. I'd be surprised if a politician is even in the bathroom by themselves. One day's worth of money spent on one candidate's campaign would support me for years!

It just seems to me that with all the tongue wagging, sooner or later a politician would trip over that tongue and fall flat on his face. The law of probability almost guarantees it, right? They'd have to belly flop sooner or later considering they look through eyes that don't see and listen with ears that don't hear.

So, tell me. In what ways do politicians help me live the American Dream? What am I missing here?

By the way, if you want another, very-different-from-mine perspective on this circus of an election, check out The Natural State Hawg's "Sick of Obama and McCain? The Hawg's Got the Solution." Ol' Hawg's got a few ideas that just might fly.