The Wrong End of the Stick

I Googled "bang head here" and found this image. It was an "a-ha" moment for me. Yep, that explains it.

It was a beautiful day, and a lot of the people in the office were out taking a smoke break at the same time that I couldn't resist the urge any longer. Sitting on a concrete wall, we all lined up like prisoners on a firing line. That fit, since most of them were in uniform, stationed on base for their current tour of duty. Reservists all, and I was damned glad they were pulling duty here instead of in Iraq.

I was sitting amongst them, in no particular order we sat, and wouldn't you know it, a bird landed in the branches of the tree we were all sitting under and let loose. The bird's contribution to the conversation landed right on my left shoulder, all white and creamy. I didn't even raise my eyebrows in surprise.

"Well now, ain't that just peachy," thought I as I reached up to wipe the contribution off with a finger, then bent down to wipe said finger off on the grass. I continued on with my cigarette and the conversation that didn't miss a beat. It doesn't matter that I got shit on, no one else let on that they noticed. Wanna know why? They were all secretly glad that the bird didn't shit on them. In other words, not all the shit that hits the fan is shared by all. Besides, what could you say, what could you do in a situation like that?

In the literal sense, it was nothing. A bird had to go, a natural thing, and that's all it was. That the bird just happened to be on a branch right above me was about as random as you can get, outdone only by the odds of winning a lottery. It wiped off clean and didn't leave a wet spot or stain (though I scrubbed the crap out of my shirt where it landed, no pun intended, in the bathroom when I went back inside). C'est la vie.

But maybe, just maybe, those birds get together and share their wisdom with each other and the one that hits the prize mark wins the fat worm. They have a purpose. They have a book they read to prepare, a how-to, and though they aim for the top of the head, a shoulder ain't half bad. Kudos to you, bird.

At least one of us had a good day.

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  1. That is always me the birds seem to love me and I usually have a big X mark on the top of my head so they can practice their aim seldom do they miss.

  2. Oh, NO! You mean it happens all the time???

    That was a first/last for me, but I'll never forget the day I was shat on by a bird. Sure did make me humble!

  3. Theresa, that story did make me laugh, but then I instantly felt guilty knowing of your talent for having bad luck. Of all the people that bird could have shit on, of coarse you get the treat! Sounds about right.

    One of these days you are more than over ripe for a streak of unbelievably GOOD luck. Not good mojoe, yin/yang or anything like that just the law of averages at play. I just hope Im in Vegas with you when it happens.

  4. Aw, Karen. It's no use feeling guilty; what you say is true! LOL But, I won't hold my breath for a streak of good luck. I'll be just as happy with a nice balance. That would do me just fine.

  5. LOA! Reminds me of the time one of the cashiers at tram-law got shat one while one the job. I of coarse hid and laughed so hard. But then you Know they got people to get rid of the birds. To bad they were so amuzing. Especially when things like that happened.