7.05.2010

Out from under the weeds and thistles

wiltingdaisies
Compassion is like a sense of caring, concern for others’ difficulties and pain; for family and friends, and all other people, even enemies. If we think only of ourselves and forget about other people, our minds occupy a very small area and even tiny problems appear very big. When you develop concern for others, your mind automatically widens; your own problems, even big ones, will not be so significant. ~Dalai Lama
How easy it is to forget such fundamental truths such as this. No problem. As soon as I forget, I am reminded. Lately, I have fallen into The Trap, that way of withdrawing, covering up, hiding in self-defense, bending and bending under the weight of others’ pain, all the while forgetting that the drained batteries will be recharged and that we are never given more than we can handle. It’s like everyone and everything I ran into was in sore need of tending, but I didn’t feel like I could handle it. I learned the lesson, a tough one, yet again. It feels like this:



covereddaisy

Yes, that’s what happens when you forget fundamental truths. It’s like sticking your head in the sand so far that sunshine doesn’t stand a chance of reaching your eyes. Those little things in life seem mountainous, disastrous and fatal, and once it starts, it all tumbles down. The more they tumble, the more difficult it is for those fundamental truths to envelope your soul with their comfort.

I found myself wishing for things, yearning for things, sobbing in pain at the lack of those wished-for things, all the while forgetting that the more you want, the less you enjoy the abundance you already have. You always get what you need. Always. If you don’t have what you wish for, then maybe you don’t need it. Finally, after a few weeks of painful sobbing deep inside, it hit me, and I let myself stand alone like this:

singleopendaisy

Coming out of the muck and the mire of my self-imposed hell, I let myself feel strong and capable again. I have a long way to go still, a long time before my head will rise above the weeds and thistles. That’s life.

So, I’m back.

The next time I forget and drown in the self-pity pool, would you smack me upside the head? Please?

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