Stay Out of My Underwear

Having just moved into a new house, I had to drive a quarter of a mile down the road to the nearest pay phone since mine wasn't installed yet. The second day there, I ran to the phone and was back within 10 minutes. I found the front door open and my dog loose.

I cussed the dog for being too danged smart and getting that door open, and headed inside. I found my living room torn apart - seat cushions everywhere, things knocked off the top of the... It took several seconds for my mind to accept the fact that the TV and stereo were gone, the cause of all the things on top to now be on the floor.

One of my guitars was still propped against the couch where I left it, and so was all the PA equipment in the kitchen. In the bedroom, I found the sheets, blankets and pillows torn back from the corner of my waterbed, and the top drawer of my dresser on the floor with all my underwear and socks strewn everywhere.

That was when it hit me, and hit me hard. I had been violated, raped, assaulted, robbed and I was terrified. My home, my place in the world, my safety was gone.

That incident happened in 1979, but the memory is still as sharp and clear as the day it happened.

I haven't thought about that break-in in years. But, on Tuesday, something happened to attack my person in much the same way, but to a lesser degree. I am not terrified this time; instead, I am royally pissed. Emails I had sent to someone else were intercepted. My personal space has been violated.

I may be a little more 'diplomatic' in conversation with some people than I would with others, but it won't come as any surprise when I say that I will say what is on my mind. Always. You won't get a different answer if you ask different people what I told them. I won't eavesdrop either, and know that it is my own fault if I happen to overhear something I don't like. I sure wouldn't be crass enough to let on I overheard either.

It's like burping and farting and picking your nose and scratching your crotch in public. You just don't do it. Well, except for in Wal-mart - the fart part, that is. Some things are just beyond your control.

There is no circumstance ever that you should stick your nose in where it doesn't belong. When a parent sticks their nose into their child's business, it teaches them first-hand what it feels like to be violated. The child in turn learns right away not to ever do that to someone else. The crappy feeling that comes from violation just doesn't go away, and it is a major assault on trust.

You get what you deserve if your feelings are hurt because you stuck your nose in the wrong place. Next time you'll know not to put your hand in the fire, won't you?


  1. I doubt that the kind of people who snoop and go looking for trouble are going to worry about getting burned once in awhile.
    Besides.. a few blisters is worth it to them. Drama addicts live for that kind of crap and will stir a pot of harmless shit just to smell it. Making mountains out of mole hills is what they live for.
    We are all entitled to our opinions. We are all entitled to share as much or as little of those opinions with as many, or as few people as WE choose. This is after all a FREE country and we are promised freedom of speach, and thought.

    If something is meant as private, and someone else overhears something that wasnt meant for their ears then they need to keep it to themselves. In other words just SHUDDUP.
    However...someone who would sneak into priavte e-mails that werent meant for them takes it to another level. They are no less guilty (or creepy) than the person who picks the lock on a diary and sits down for a read. I think its wonderful the times when they get what they deserve. i.e. Pie in the face.(Id even make that cow pie)

    Just the very fact that someone would feel the need to snoop to that degree tells volumes about what kind of person they really are. Untrusting to say the least, and untrustworthy more likely than not.
    Just like the jealous lover that constantly accuses the partner of cheating, nine times out of ten the guilty one is THEM! Its pretty ironic that THEY are usually the ones that act all offended. They are also the ones that blow a major O ring if the shoe lands on the other foot.
    The best thing to do is keep a long, long, distance from such emotionally immature paranoid game players. Imagine the pathetic silly person that feels a need to do that sort of thing, and be ever greatful your not like them.

  2. It's ironic that you should mention the First Ammendment right away! BINGO.

    I had forgotten about the "creepy" aspect of it. That adds in layers of Peeping Tom and stalking to the profile.

    Yeah, they are sadly pathetic. How do you spot someone like that in time to avoid them?

  3. Sometimes you cant. Not at first anyway. It never takes too long to show though. Most times a long nose has a flapping trap to go with it, and they end up telling on themselves. Classic snoop.

  4. I'm not used to dealing with people of this calibur, you know? All I have to say to this sort of person is ...


  5. Too bad the dog didn't attack him!

    I totally believe what comes around goes around. You may not see it, but it always does some day one way or another.

  6. That dog wouldn't bite a soul. She was a German Shepherd, so thankfully, looks alone did the trick.

    Thanks for the reminder, Deanna. Sometimes Karma isn't the first thing you think about in situations like this.

  7. Hello,
    I just wanted to let you know that I read this 2 das ago and have not stopped thinking about what you said. I was robbed about 4 years ago and it still seems like yesterday.
    Anyways, privacy is a precious gift.

  8. J,

    These kinds of things stay with you, I think, because it is something that attacks you to the core. In How to Help Without Harm, I talk about identifying your true feelings so that you can help yourself and others. This could be of help in turning "baggage" into a part of yourself that is OK.

    Thanks for your comment, and thank you for reading!