Empty Nest Pity Party

You know, maybe I didn't do a good job with The Birds and The Bees talk. Or, maybe I did too well. Who knows?

But, if you're a single parent, then your one and only kid shouldn't grow up so fast and leave the nest so soon, right?

Then again, he was a teenager first, and that tends to cure a lot of the "cute" a kid once was. I mean, the toys left out around the house went from Legos to video games and empty pizza boxes in no time flat. The dishwasher could be empty, and the cupboards bare because a hefty percentage of the available glasses, cups, silverware and plates and bowls are piled up around that teenager's room. And, forget about pitching in on the usual household chores, unless you want to spend weeks harping and bitching and nagging.

I should be happy now. I should be elated. The things that were driving me crazy for the last 20 odd years moved out when my son did. Right?

OK, I'm happy the messes are gone along with all the reasons to harp and complain. Life is quite a bit less stressful. I mean, I can even keep my kitchen clean now. I know where things are since they are still where I put them last. It's a lot less stressful.

Yet, what I'm doing is throwing myself a pity party. I miss that pain in the rump kid of mine. Oh, I have lots of conversation with all my animals, but they didn't take all the history classes I slept through in high school and can't answer my stupid questions about it. My dogs are mouthy, yes, and they really don't listen any better than my kid did, but it's just not the same somehow. My horse is super intelligent, but he doesn't answer questions either. The best he can do is pin his ears and shake his head. Come to think of it, my kid did a lot of that too.

Bring out the violins now... Here I am, half a century old, and I have no idea what to do with myself now that it's just me again.


I think it's time for another childhood. Yeah. I could be onto something here. Maybe a red convertible sports car, leopard patterned, skin-tight tops and leather pants topped off with bleach blond hair. I'll buy new makeup and apply it a few inches thick before I head out for a night on the town. I'll learn to flirt and fall all over men, lie about my age and drink them all under the table.

Um, maybe not. That sounds like it would run past my 9:00 bedtime...

So, what is a girl to do?


  1. Enjoy yourself. I know you miss him, believe me... but try to remember all those things you thought you couldn't do while he was living at home and do them!

    Even when you're happy to see the back of them, it hurts like a limb has been severed. You miss them; it's natural.


  2. I guess I stopped thinking of things that weren't possible due to having a dependent. Yes, it is like a severed limb. Aptly put, Pam.

    Thanks for the hug - I needed it!

  3. Come with me to the Casbah...we'll make great music together.

    And you'll be home by 10. Promise.

  4. I went thru this. It was like a part of me was missing. Then the middle child decided to reproduce, and not able to handle it and here I am with a full nest starting all over again, and I am your age.

  5. @Al, I'm finding it a bit difficult not to think of your comment as an indecent proposal! I'd know for sure if only I knew what a "Casbah" was.

    @Spicy, I have that same nightmare, believe me. My son is now living with his girlfriend, and I can only hope the two have enough sense not to reproduce! There ain't no way I want to try to raise an infant now. I'm just too old!

  6. Theresa, being a bit closer to the situation than your posters here Id say Spicybugz has hit your future nail right on the head.

    You had better enjoy your freedom now, because Ill eat my good cowboy hat if Tim and his less than genius sex parder dont come whining at your door like stray dogs heavy with pup.

    Then you wont be asking me how to shop for food for one, but whats the best formula for a fussy baby, and how to keep from fainting at the cost of diapers?

    I mean really, what choice are they going to have? Both of them pretend playing to be all grown up, and responisble with nothing more than a HS diploma, and Wal-mart jobs. Your nest will soon be so full you will only dream of it being empty like in the good ole days.

  7. Oh poo, Karen! I have a firm belief in "self-fulfilling prophecy" and if you think hard enough about something it will come true. So, it's logical to NOT think about this possible outcome in hopes to NOT prophesying and NOT having it come true! Right?

  8. T- what you are calling self fulfilling prophecy Id simply describe as keeping ones head out of the sand in order to clearly see the chit thats fixing to hit the fan. That way maybe, just maybe, you will be better prepared and figure out a way to dodge the bullets being shot at you.

    Im with Paul, adopt one (thats out of diapers at least) and tell them your sorry the house is already full! lol!

  9. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Casbah

    Seeing it's in North Africa, it would be tough to be back by 10pm.

  10. Become a big sister! You have so much to offer, and there are so many girls out there that could learn a lot from you. You would be able to spend time with another child, and not have to keep them. ;)