The weekend is over already. Dang. I was close, very close to feeling rested. That is a huge sign that the last week was a bit on the much side!
The shooting in Binghamton, NY a week ago Friday, played out as you'd expect; it was no surprise. The shooter was a paranoid schizophrenic, though undiagnosed as most are at the low end of the economic scale. It's not unthinkable that a man with that way of thinking coupled with a marked lack of ability to communicate did what he did. It's just another gigantic reminder of what happens when people fall through society's cracks.
I called Nadia and Mike like I spoke about before, yet I didn't quite feel relieved about it all. Ironically, two weeks before, Jeff, my old bass player, had left a voice message saying he needed to talk with me about our lead guitar player, Todd. Well, I called him back several times and left messages, but didn't hear back from Jeff. Finally, last weekend, I called and he actually answered.
Oh, it was so good to talk with Jeff! Todd, Jeff and I played together for 7 years, and we were close friends. The band broke up when we all had it in our heads to go different directions. Shit happens. Music is so emotional anyway, and a band can only live as long as the members' emotions are going the same way,. A good friend of ours died on fateful 9/11, and though the three of us hadn't been in touch, didn't even know if the others would be there, we came back together and stood together the same way we had when we played. Yes, our ties were heartfelt strong ones.
So when Jeff answered, it was very good to talk with him again, and we chatted away as always. I had to ask him what he had to tell me about Todd, and in a flippant way, I asked Jeff, "So what's going on with Todd. He ain't dead, is he?" Jeff immediately said "Yes."
Silent, not able to speak, Jeff went on. Todd had fallen to the floor in his kitchen and couldn't get up. He called his ex-wife to come over to help him, and he died in her arms. He had a massive heart attack. Todd was 50, and as an avid bike racer, in very good shape.
That was what I knew was still hanging out there. That was why I had no relief after finding out everyone was OK from the tragic shooting. It took Jeff a lot to tell me about Todd's passing. That Jeff told me when I was already anticipating grief was...eerie.
The world will be a much quieter place now without Todd's guitar.
A few weeks before Jeff left his message on my voice mail, I tried to find an old high school friend of mine. With a weird name like Janan, Google shouldn't have a hard time with finding her. But, nothing. Google failed! Now, I have a Facebook account like most do, but never could figure out the point of it. Last weekend, I thought to check Facebook, and there was a message from Janan!
Facebook held another surprise too. Burt Wilson is working on another book! I've been reading his book, Ancient Wisdom for the 21st Century since it was delivered. When I get to the last page, I go right back to the beginning and read it again. Every time I read it, it's like the first time. Something different, something new, something profound hits me with every reading. I have a pile of books to read, and the stack keeps growing, but I can't put down Ancient Wisdom.... Whatever will I do when Burt's new book gets here?
The weekend is over, and I'm not ready for that yet. I spent the weekend, after writing my last post, working on Out in the Back Yard. I'd upload a new template, tweak it, get it just about set only to find one or two things that just didn't work for me. I think I went through 4 of them until I finally settled on the one that's there now. Sifting through all the code, arguing with strange things happening as a result of one tiny, little thing that was off until, finally, it came together. Let's just say that the template is so modified that it ain't nothin' like it started out bein'! But, going through all that got my mind out of the whirlwind it was in. And, that is my relief.
Yep, the weekend is over. I've got a very busy week coming up with stories to cover and trips to Little Rock for training on top, so I won't be hashing all this over and over in my mind anymore.
Tomorrow is a new day...