Quirks and Quips Quiz

It's one of those things. It's stuck in my head. You know it by that song that plays over and over, getting louder and louder with each go 'round. Instead of a song, my head is echoing with "quirk, quip and quiz." I recognize it now. It's an idea!

Idea + me = trouble... Are you ready to play along?

Quirk /'kwerk/: a sudden turn, an artful evasion, an idiosyncrasy.

Every once in awhile, something hits me upside the head with a solid smack and I can’t help but take notice. This time, it was the realization that…

I am downright quirky.

For the most part, it’s those idiosyncrasies. When I notice them in someone else, I find myself irritated, so of course I avoid seeing them in myself. I mean, why irritate myself when others can do it so well?

So, I’ll fess up, just to keep myself honest with myself: I hate wearing socks, and don’t you dare touch my feet. Everything has it’s place (like, the dishes in the cupboard or the position of the computer screen). Food has to taste just so. A pen has to write when it’s put to paper. I have to listen to music. I have to have honey for my coffee.

Quip /’kwip/: a smart, sarcastic turn or jest, a severe retort.

And, I have a set of buttons that, if pushed, instantly turn me into what can best be described as a raging, foaming-at-the-mouth, snarling banshee (whatever that is). What I’m talking about here is completely out of my control. I turn and bite, hard, way before my brain can kick in and stop myself. If I do manage to stop myself, I stew and stew until I let it out anyway. See what I mean by trouble?

Not that I try to notice, not by any means, but one of those said buttons is seeing someone’s pants falling down. Or, even worse, unzipped. I’ve noticed that my rage is a bit less as time goes on since this particular button has been pushed way too many times with this, quote, fashion trend.

“Pull up those pants before you fall on your face,” I’ll quip. And, I’ll stand right there until said pants are hiked up. I usually have to wait for the jaw to come off the chest.

One guy got me right back the other day with his own quip: “I won’t fall. I’ve got lots of practice.”

Touché.

Quiz /’kwiz/: riddle, enigma, ridiculous hoax.

Now, that’s funny. I never thought to actually look up the definition of “quiz,” and as a former teacher, I think I totally wasted many a good opportunity to incite glee over the years.

I may have found yet another button, seeing as how this definition smacked me upside the head too. Do you know what I think is a ‘ridiculous hoax’? Poetry. I don’t do riddles either. In either case, it irritates me to no end to beat around the bush of meaning. Just say it already!

Now it’s your turn. Take my Quirk and Quip Quiz and see how you fare. I dare you.